the list you won't understand

so, you won't understand most of this post--it's mainly for our memories alone.

here are some highlights from the reception and honeymoon...

1. "now kimberly, i want to be in bed before midnight." riiiiiiiiiight....
2. "um, i want to drink something tonight. how do i do that?"
3. tats
4. hubby redoing flower arrangements (i hate martin flowers)
5. david did a hoedown dance, and the footloose dance
6. kegstands
7. piano man
8. after party!
9. harper drove us home. 'nuff said
10. apparently, i slept at the foot of the bed. in my wedding dress.
11. hubby dumped water on my still drunk self to wake me up for the plane ride
12. watched "bed intruder" while waiting for first flight. a great idea at 5:45 am when you're still slightly tipsy.
13. david got intimate with the plane bathroom
14. the driver on the way to the resort played really bad eighties music in his van. and sang along. cue "we are the world"
15. eurotrash girl
16. the russian mafia
17. "how do you feel?" "VERY SEXY!"
18. 2, yes 2, porn channels in the room (for free!!)
19. "bingo! bingo! mamasita in cancun!"
20. "alabama!"
21. "i'd rather ____ that wheelchair than your _____"
22. can't decide on an appetizer? order 2 entrees!
23. battle wounds
24. "wow! this magnification mirror makes my junk look HUGE!"
25. accidentally see the jersey housewives girl on free porn channel. gross.
26. the butt show
27. the ice ice baby couple
28. smalls
29. the cool shower
30. plunge pool ;)
31. all you can eat ice cream machine
32. michael jackson show
33. mexican william shatner
34. "i want something fruity. sure, bring me that."
35. monkey drinks!
36. grateful we didn't do the kayak excursion
37."man"icure
38. "holy $#%! that is cold!"
39. $25 sunscreen
40. "you conspired against me with the cashier."
41. cuban cigars
42. smooth operator (snap, snap, snap, snap--to no apparent beat whatsoever)
43. room service breakfast
44. "mrs. farr" (giggle, giggle, blush)
45. oreos, m&m's, snickers, lays in the room!
46. coke "light"
47. "drink more tequila. you speak-a better espanol."
48. random hermit crab
49. swing bed!
50.  "what's manlier than scotch and lambchops?  two scotches and lambchops!"
51.  mini-beer shot coming out kimberly's nose
52.  still intoxicated kimberly eating sausage for the first time in years
53.  fernando the iguana
54.  the spiciest ceviche ever
55.  so we have a little problem...no, it might be fixed...wait, just kidding...9hrs later we take off for miami
56.  two people from alabama eating at a bubba gump's in cancun
57.  being the only english speaking people in the US CITIZENS!! customs line in miami
58.  coming home to kimberly's panties still in the shower from the week before
59.  to this day, kimberly still can't find her wedding shoes