Wednesday, June 30, 2010


technically, no, i'm not a cougar. (hey, hollywood defines it as a five year age difference).

today is my soon-t0-be-hubby's birthday. he's now 28. i'll turn that dreaded number that begins with three and ends with zero in less than four months.

yep, i'm the older woman.

almost thirty and no kids yet. this was not my plan. oh well. maybe i can play the "no, honey, you do're so much less aged than me" card one day. at the very least, maybe i can be pregnant when we move and not have to help out. yeah, that'd be nice.

so, yes, i am older than david. it's never bothered me though.

true, i had a crush on him when he was 12. true, dating him at times has been similar to what that must have been like. . . i'll spare you the scenarios and comments.

it's great though. we have so much fun together. i am so incredibly high strung at times that i need a dose of immaturity to set me back down in reality.

at other times, he is so wise and strong--his perspective has calmed down my self-induced near hyperventilation more times that i can count.

yes, i adore my "young stud." he's just what i need, and more than i could have ever hoped for.

happy birthday, my love. ME-OW!

my view

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Saturday, June 19, 2010

little man

when it comes to fathers, i've been spoiled.

steve kornman is perhaps the most loving and generous man on this planet. he also puts us with my mother and two daughters (this makes him nearly a saint in my book).

i wasn't lucky enough to have my dad around throughout most of my childhood. he worked out of town to support us. he didn't like it, but that's what he needed to do to take care of us.

we had a "weekend daddy." he left early on monday morning and returned late thursday evening, usually shortly before, if not after, our bedtime. on fridays, he worked from home. before she started school, my sister would sit in the bedroom with him, playing "secretary."

i loved fridays as an elementary school kid. dad would come eat lunch with me. when a parent came to do this, you got to sit at a separate table and invite a few friends to come with you. everyone wanted to come.

on weekends, i'd have friends over. dad would play "wheelbarrow" when putting us to bed.

when i was a teenager, he frequently toted my girlfriends and me to winn-dixie. we'd stock up on toilet paper. and then throw it in the trees of our crushes' yards.

over the years, i've been fortunate to have my dad present for all of the significant events in my life. he and my mom have been my biggest cheerleaders.

i owe my dad my life.

yes, it was he who got into his truck, drove an hour to my home, and literally picked me up off of the floor.

it was he who talked to the insurance company.

it was he who drove me to a residential treatment center in chelsea, alabama.

my father gave me the help i desperately needed.

i know that his leaving me there was one of the hardest things he has ever done, aside from waiting for the opportunity to step in and do it.

my father saved my life. he gave me hope. he initiated the process of my recovery.

he held my hand through my divorce.

he helped me pack up my belongings and move out on my own.

and, a year and half later, he gave david his blessing to ask me to marry him, completely without any reservations. you don't know this, but that is saying a lot.

david knew how important it was for me to have my dad's approval. i cried when i found out.

my dad has once again given me a new life.

and i will forever be grateful to him.

he is my hero.

i love you, daddy.

Monday, June 14, 2010

stars and stripes forever?

today is flag day.

i do not know this because i am exceptionally patriotic. i know this because it is also an old friend's birthday.

i've never really thought of it as "flag day." until this year.

i am lucky enough to have not had to personally experience was it is like to be a military family. however, this year, i feel like it is all around me.

my "cubbymate" at work just sent her boyfriend off to basic training. he's scheduled to deport shortly.

a former "hallmate" of my mine from freshman year of college just had to be experience the horror of military limbo while waiting to find out if her husband was going to be ordered overseas.

my sweet cousin, miriah, spent the first year of her marriage apart from her new husband as he served our country.

i watch "army wives," but i do not know what it must be like.

today, i got to thinking about david. about his being a nurse. about the very real possibility of another world war.

i asked him, "if we were to go to war again, and there was a need, a calling, for medical professionals, would you enlist in the armed forces?"

without hesitation, he replies, "yes. i'd feel like it was my duty. it would suck: for me, for you, for us. but i'd feel like it was the right thing to do."

at this moment, i experienced very conflicting emotions: i was scared and proud at the same time. david is so genuine and strong in his convictions. he is open and honest. these are just a few of the reasons i know he will make a wonderful husband (and, God willing, one day, a father).

i don't know what it is like to send away someone you love to fight for a greater cause.

but this year, i've been more aware of it.

God bless you all.


T-minus 69 days till the wedding and I decided I need to lose a little weight. So, I decided to order the Insanity program (and managed to get it for free). Needless to say, this program is my worst nightmare. I don't mind lifting weights, but anyone who knows me knows how much I loathe cardio. With that being said, this program is ALL CARDIO!! I almost threw up after the fit test on day 1, and as you can tell from the picture, day 2 isn't any better.

2 days down, 58 more to go. I'm also trying to follow the meal plan. That's my biggest weakness. I love food. The more the better. Luckily Kimberly is there to yell at me if I want to eat some junk.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

carry this in your pocket

i love my job because it is so varied: i get to work with kiddos, their parents, their teachers, and administrators. on any given day, i am the recipient of oodles of hugs, smiles and thank yous. i get to discuss art, writing, problem solving and tantrums.

people are always sticking their heads into my area of what one of my co-workers and fellow room inhabitants has labeled "La La Land" to see what i am creating.

i get to make people smile. and this makes me smile.

but some days, its hard. like everyone, i get the occasional onset of "the blues." it doesn't mean anything more than the fact that i am human.

at the same time, i'm always looking for ways to avoid these negative feelings.

i get a lot of daily emails at work from various organizations. their topics range from parenting and children's advocacy to health and personal well-being.

today, i was lucky to receive this inspirational one from Childcare Exchange.

"John Wooden, arguably the best basketball coach of all time, died on Friday at the age of 99. Wooden, the Wizard of Westwood, coached UCLA from 1948 to 1975. During that time his accomplishments were unprecedented, including 10 National Championships, four perfect 30-0 seasons, and an 88 game winning streak.

When he graduated from elementary school, his dad gave him a $2 bill and a card with “Seven Things to Do”: This card, which Wooden carried with him the rest of his life, read:

  1. Be true to yourself.
  2. Help others.
  3. Make each day your masterpiece.
  4. Drink deeply from good books.
  5. Make friendship a fine art.
  6. Build a shelter against a rainy day.
  7. Pray for guidance, and count and give thanks for your blessings every day."
i don't know about you, but i was completely blown away. so often in life, we find ourselves looking for ways to improve our mood and overall happiness. some of us try to do extraordinary things. we end up being overachievers and eventually burn out. some spend money on pointless stuff, trying to become a status symbol in society.

this email reminded me of a simple truth: don't overlook the small things in life. enjoy being yourself. be thankful for your friendships.

if we would just make an effort to take pleasure in everyday occurrences and make the most of what we are dealt, how much more joy would each of us have?

Sunday, June 6, 2010

i'm a golden retriever

pre-marital seminar = great idea

i have to admit: when david texted me to find out if i was interested in attending a pre-marital counseling seminar, i cried.

why? it once again affirmed that david is everything i need. knowing my past, he's very sensitive to the fact that i want to be married for fifty years, but am terrified at the possibility of someone walking out on me again.

i can think a million things david would rather do than attend a counseling seminar. and yet, he did. for me. for us.

david understands me to my very core. he can look at me and know what emotion i'm feeling, even if i am trying to hide it.

i've never been one to talk about my fears and short-comings. and yet, with him, i can. i know without a doubt that he will not judge me. that he will accept me. that he will do everything possible to help me with whatever i am going through, and never bring up my past failures in a negative light.

my love languages are gifts and physical touch. david brings me coffee in bed. he snuggles up beside me.

he makes my heart smile. every day.

Friday, June 4, 2010

The Busy Season

It's 5am and I'm wide awake. I guess that's what happens when you fall asleep at 8:30 after doing 12 hours of clinicals in podunk Pell City, Alabama.

Not even married yet and I think this summer is going to test mine and Kimberly's relationship. I'm working full-time and I have to do nearly 200 clinicals hours as well this summer for school, on top of all the wedding things (both mine and others') that will need to be attended this summer. I'll do another 9 hours of clinicals today, then pack up and drive do Opelika for some pre-marital counseling tomorrow.

I'm actually looking forward to tomorrow for some reason. Since Kimberly and I started dating we haven't had any fights, and we seem to be on the same page about everything. I know we will have our differences and fights eventually, but our core values are the same, and that's what a healthy marriage is built upon. You can't build on a narrow foundation.

With that being said, I'll leave you with one of my favorite pictures of Kimberly.