reflection

if you'd have asked me if i'd be here in life nine years ago, my answer would be "no way."

a decade ago, i pictured myself a stay-at-home mom at nearly age thirty. changing diapers. teaching the alphabet to my kiddo. up to my ears in tiny laundry.

and yet, here i am. living in birmingham again. about to get married. again.

there was a time that the thought of that last "again" made me cringe. made me nearly hyperventilate with anxiety. made me sick in my stomach.

yet, now, this same "again" makes me grin from ear to ear. calms me. makes my heart sing.

no, i never expected that my life would take to path it has. i imagine that those of us that have had life-changing experiences never saw them coming, most of us not until it was too late. and there was a time, perhaps several years, that true joy did not seem to again be possible. it wasn't even an option.

when the life you've been living veers off course, sometimes you find yourself alive again after looking death in the eyes. perhaps after living in a perceived purgatory.

would i change it? would i give up what i have now to erase the pain of what was?

not a chance.

if you'd have told me i'd soon become mrs. david farr, that i'd marry a schoolgirl crush, that i'd reconnect with someone so much like me it's almost scary, i'd have laughed in your face.

i guess (thankfully) the joke's on me.